Episode 334: Compliments and Kisses!

Posted on by Judy E Martin

Us Brits are not very good at accepting compliments as a rule. We have that kind of self-deprecating humour, which I know I use a lot of the time. (I feel that it is better for me to get in first with the put-downs before someone else beats me to it).

It’s weird, that if someone does tell me that I look nice in an outfit, for example, I will soon draw attention to how big my tummy looks in it, or perhaps my chunky legs spoil the look. Whatever it is, whoever gave me the compliment probably soon regretted it; not only that, they also now know yet even more of my flaws that just maybe hadn’t been too obvious before I helpfully pointed them out!

The thing is, for me in particular, I was brought up to believe that you should be modest, never boast about anything and that it was not nice to be a ‘big-head!’ I don’t remember getting many compliments as a child probably to reinforce the message that ‘nobody likes a show-off!’

It is tricky to know where to draw the line as well. I was so proud when I graduated as it was only a couple of years ago, and therefore something I had to work pretty hard at to achieve, yet it felt really awkward when I told people about it, as I didn’t want them to think that I was ‘up myself!’

I am getting better at it now, especially at work, where we do get compliments at times;(in fact I got not one but two kisses today, which was sweet as I don’t usually look after the men)! However, I still can’t resist making a detrimental joke about myself most of the time!

What makes you feel awkward?

44 thoughts on “Episode 334: Compliments and Kisses!”

  2. Compliments make me feel awkward, but then if they don’t notice I am more likely to be pretty pissed about it! I could never ask for money (unless I’m bribing you), I’d rather lick bread from the pavement. Another thing that makes me feel awkward is when people share nasty gossip. We all do it, but don’t tell someone how nice they look and then slag her off

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  6. I know where you are coming from this. When somebody tells me I’ve done a great piece of writing, I think to myself “What Me?”

    It’s wonderful to get compliments and even though many of us shy away from them, I think they really make us feel very good when we do get them. They certainly make me smile.

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  7. What I hate is the annual review. Where I work I have to fill out a form ahead of time telling what I did for the year, and why I deserve an “above normal” pay raise. Since “normal” doesn’t provide enough to cover inflation everyone tries hard to promote themselves. I hate self promotion, I’m not good at it, it is one of the most difficult things I have to do every year, thankfully I have only 4-5 left.

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    1. Oh that sounds horrendous. I am not great at selling myself either. I can’t believe you have to do all of that just to get a pay rise that you should be entitled to. Shocking!

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  8. What I hate the most is ever having to borrow anything from anyone. I don’t mind being a lender some of the time, but never a borrower.
    Being almost painfully shy, and always having had skeletons in my closet from previous life experiences, I hate to be put in those situations or seeing those people again in my life. Most of my life is spent in hiding or running away from people or places, I have met before or been to before. What a life !

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  9. Taking a compliment really is an artform….not something you’re just born with I think, but something people really have to work at to get good at. I’m definitely not there and I despise being the center of attention. Much better to be the fly on the wall!

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    1. Yes i agree, I do try and accept compliments more readily now, even if it is just to smile and say ‘thank you,’ and then resist the urge to put myself down straight away! 🙂

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  11. I would do anything for anyone but hate asking anyone for help with something. And I don’t like to be the center of attention, like a surprise party.

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  12. I acted the same way. I always killed the compliment and convinced the other person that I am not worth that compliment. Today I have no problems receiving compliments and I am not blushing anymore. It is a sign of appreciation of my encounter. I also started looking at it from the other side. When I am making a compliment I want to please the other person. But in killing the compliment my gesture is not appreciated. Therefore accepting a serious compliment is also an appreciation of the person who made the compliment.
    OMG, sorry,… what a commend… over and out!

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    1. You have made a very good point there Erika that I had not really thought about before, By deflecting the compliment I am not appreciating it, which is actually the last thing on my mind! I will definitely have to try and be more gracious in accepting compliments in future! 🙂

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      1. Hahaha… so lovely, thank you! I think it is here like in everything. We should try to see the situation through the eyes of the other person… and things get clearer or simply clarify 🙂

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  14. Compliments can be hard to take without getting bashful or self-depreciating. On the rare occasion I do receive one I’ve coached myself into saying thank you and leaving it at that.

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      1. Exactly! For me, I feel when someone gives me a compliment, it’s almost out of pity, especially with my music. I just want to run and hide. lol

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  18. I don’t handle compliments well, either. Not about my appearance anyway. I do try, but I usually chuckle madly and blush.
    Also, calling people to ask for anything. Ugh. I hate calling people for favors. I do better with cold calls LOL!

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