Just Jot it January 24th – Compelled

jjj-2016

Today’s word for Linda’s Just Jot it January is ‘compelled.’ Hmmm!  I am a person who, throughout their life, has never been good at saying no. If anyone asked me to do anything for them, I would always oblige as I liked to please and make people happy. The problem with this, though, is after a while, it becomes too much.

Sometimes I might not want to babysit, or go to the shops, or give someone a lift somewhere, or work overtime as I had my own things to do, but because I had always done it for so long, saying no didn’t seem right. I felt compelled to carry on as I had done, not wanting to disappoint anyone.

After a while, though, resentment sets in. I started feeling like a doormat, which really was of my own making. It was me that was putting the pressure on myself to do things. I would feel so guilty if I felt I had let someone down by not being able to do the favour that they asked me. I would do it then rant and rave about it to my husband, who would tell me not to do it then.

So, eventually, I did start saying no occasionally. I am still a bit of a pushover at times, but certainly nowhere near as much as I used to be!

 

 

 

 

35 thoughts on “Just Jot it January 24th – Compelled

  1. I find it hard to say ‘No’, too, Judy! I can relate with your thoughts because that’s how I felt, sometimes. It’s like I compel myself to this and do that, but after doing so, resentment kicks in.

    I am glad you learned to say no now, I guess I have learned that too. 🙂

    Have a great week, Edwina!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m compelled to say yes more often than I really want to as well. It’s difficult, because we’re taught to be helpful and kind to others. But, sometimes, we need to recognize when it’s not helpful or kind to ourselves to be too busy and stressed. It’s a lesson I’m still learning. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It has been rather easy for me to say No, perhaps because I was brought up like that. Since I have been an adult and married, my husband who just cannot say No has somewhat rubbed on me and I cannot say No so much these days- call it degradation or de-evoluation or whatever. These days, when I do say No, I am quite proud of myself.
    Susie

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This sounds so very familiar to me. For a long time I was running for others not because I wanted to but because I felt obliged to. And that were people who never were nice to me. So I felt chained and forced. Until that moment came when I realized that I was entitled to say NO. I don’t even need explanations or justify anything and it even doesn’t matter whether they understand or not. I was able to say no and did not feel guilty at all. And from that moment on a YES felt so much better, because it came from my heart.

    Liked by 5 people

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