Episode 166: Fairy Grandmother!

When I was younger, my parents were pretty strict about swearing (or rather us not swearing) as I wrote about here. It was pretty unheard of to hear bad language on the TV, and I never ever heard my parents use really bad language. Yes, my step-dad loved ‘bloody’ and ‘shit’,  and my mum was partial to ‘for Christ’s sake’ but there was never any ‘f’ word or similar. Ever.

Nowadays it is so much more commonplace. we hear it all the time, On TV, listening to music, even young kids on the street seem to bandy swear words about with abandon, as it is part of their everyday vocabulary.

Many of the older generation still do not like to hear people constantly swearing, and one grandmother of 73 landed up getting herself in trouble when she tried to make a stand.

It all started when her daughter’s boyfriend couldn’t control his language in front of the woman, her daughter and granddaughter. She had finally had enough when the 6ft 2 chef loomed over her swearing in her face. Quick as a flash, she pulled put a bottle of ‘Fairy’ washing up liquid from her bag (God knows why she was carrying it around, unless it was for just such an occasion) and squirted the liquid towards the 38 year old’s mouth.

Now, most of us as kids were threatened to have ‘our mouths washed out with soap’ if we were caught swearing by an older person, and being of that generation, she followed through on it, probably intending to teach him a lesson in manners.

Unfortunately, his poor feelings were hurt and he called the police accusing her of assault; sure enough they came out and charged her! She will be up before the magistrates court facing prosecution and a criminal record.

How times have changed. Forty years ago this woman would have been commended for her actions, and the foul-mouthed ranter, berated by the police for wasting their time, and for using abusive language!

Is the Crown  Prosecution Service getting a little over the top wanting to prosecute this woman, or do you think she ‘assaulted’ the man and deserves what she gets?

Episode 24: Me and My Girl…

Kids…don’t you just love’ em!! Ever since I was quire young I always wanted to have children, and at one point I wanted to become a Nanny and look after them. However life works out in its own sweet way, and I never did become a nanny, plus  I was 37 years old before I finally had my beautiful daughter…

Being one of six children myself, and with most of my siblings being older than me, they started to have their children when I was a teenager. I thought this was great, and I would always volunteer to babysit whenever I could. I loved playing games with the little ones, and spending time with them, looking after them.

I thought that by the time I was a Mum,  I would have loads of experience from looking after various nephews and nieces, and that I would be very capable and calm!

I was panicking like mad, almost as soon as I became pregnant! I signed up to one of those online subscriptions that gave a daily update on how the baby was developing, and I would read any pregnancy book I could get my hands on so that I knew what to expect,,,however there were a few humps along the way to get over first that were not really mentioned in the glossy mags I read,,,,,,

The first hurdle was being told that as I was an ‘older mum’, my age coupled with some test results meant that I may have a child that has Down’s Syndrome, I did have the amniocentesis done as advised, but that was not a pleasant experience. The size of that needle they pushed into my stomach!! Ohh it made my eyes water, but everything was ok, and I also found out by choice early on that i was having a girl, which was so exciting. One more hurdle of gestational diabetes to get over,.. that was also a bit of a nuisance as I ended up having to inject myself with insulin, but again, in the grand scheme of things, it was ok, as at least my baby was healthy which was the main thing.

My two sisters were with me when my daughter was born, and she came screaming into the world to the dulcet tones of Tom Jones singing ‘It’s Not unusual’ (I wanted something a bit upbeat for her to be born to)! Anyway…I was now finally a MUM. My dream had come true, and here was my precious little bundle, (Actually the first night I heard this crying and wished that the other mothers in the ward would see to their poor baby, when actually it was MY baby that was crying). It took a little while for me to get used to the fact that yes, I was supposed to take care of her every need!!!

I was living with my mother and step-father when I took  her home from hospital, for the first few weeks, which was lucky for me as I had my mum on hand to give me advice.. However when she was 10 weeks old, we moved into our own house and for the next few years it was just me and her.

I really didn’t know how hard it was going to be, looking after a baby, getting into routines etc. I bought a food processor, and lovingly made delicious meals from scratch which I pulverized for her when she went onto solids…only for her to spit it out in disgust! I was determined that she would sleep in her own room, and managed to get her into a routine, although I had of course got it wrong!! She would go to bed every evening at 5.30pm, but would get up every morning at 4.30 am. Try as I might I could not get her out of this habit for ages! Plus, once she was awake that was it, she would have this strange habit of getting onto her back and kicking her legs against the wall in a kind of ‘cycling’ motion (bearing in mind that our walls are paper-thin and I have neighbours either side, I would imagine that they did not really enjoy their early morning wakeup call, I know I didn’t)!!

The terrible twos were a joy! I lost count of the fully fledged tantrums in the town centre, being the focus of many a filthy look from disgusted passers-by as my daughter screamed herself into a frenzy! I also loved the struggle i had to get her into the bloody car seat (Oh how I hated that thing)!  She would go as stiff as a board, and refuse to bend in the middle so it was rather an art to finally get her in and strapped in, However, 2 minutes down the road and she got herself out of it and would get out, so I would have to quickly pull over and start the process again! Oh yes, car seats and safety gates were just a minor annoyance that temporarily stopped her as she had figured out how open the gates as well!!

I was really sad when it came time for my daughter to start primary  school, but as I mentioned in a previous post, she was the child that tried to escape and was given a high vis top to wear so that she was easy to spot in the playground.The fact that she has Asperger’s as well, has caused the odd awkward moment, as she will say whatever she thinks regardless of how other people might be affected by it,….

I remember taking her to a local Garden centre as they were doing a club for young children to encourage them to take an interest in nature and growing things etc. As we were queueing up to register,there were other children who were in front of us giving in their names. my daughter felt that she had to comment on ‘what a stupid name’ they had, to my mortification, and their mother’s fury! I have tried teaching her tact, but she just doesn’t get it!

She has an opinion and everyone is entitled to it!!  At times it can be very amusing, like tonight, as her hair was soaked and knotty after having washed it, I told her to give it a good brushing, but she complained that why should she as it will have to be brushed again tomorrow, she also doesn’t understand why she should have to do homework either for school, as she has already had ‘a hard day’. She thought she could get away with using Google Translator for her French homework, but got busted by the teacher, who was not impressed as it wasn’t even accurate!

She is certainly so much more grown up than I was at 11, and probably gets away with a hell of a lot more than I dared to  at her age, but for all the challenges we face together, I am very proud of my beautiful, and feisty little madam, and know that I am very blessed.