One-Liner Wednesday

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I had to laugh at the birthday card my big sister got me.

Birthday Card!

And the punchline was …. one to do the cleaning and one to do the ironing!

This post was inspired by Linda’s One-Liner Wednesday 

Well done to Wes for designing the badge for the challenge too!

Episode 75: Hitting A Bum Note!

What was  it about your partner that attracted you to them in the first place?….I have known Mr Grump for 30 years now in total, but we have only been together this time for about 6 years. The story of how we met is here.  Anyway, back in the 80’s, I was attracted to his spiky hair (now he has none), his flirtatious manner (that ended up splitting us up), his dress sense (he used to resemble Midge Ure), and lastly his sexy bum! Now of course, I am not as shallow as to go by looks alone;  he has a great sense of humour (that is vital for me), and a very thoughtful nature.

Last night Mr Grump had a couple of drinks, and as is normally the case on these occasions, he put some music on. Another thing that we both have in common is our fondness for 80’s music (much to Miss Hap’s disgust)!  As we were on our own last night, Mr Grump decided to do some  dancing for me which included a bit of ‘twerking’! I don’t know if it was supposed to be sexy or something, but it had the opposite effect and I roared my head off, it was so funny.For a start he hasn’t quite grasped what ‘twerking’ is. As old and unfashionable as I am, I have Miss Hap to keep me up to speed on the latest dance moves of which she excels, (thank God she doesn’t have my two left feet) Mr Grump thought that wagging his bottom about in front of me, is what it’s all about. Such a shame, bless him. The once sexy bum that he had in his youth has kind of disappeared and is now completely flat!

I did tell him this last night, and he reminded me of a time when he and myself , sister and brother-in-law, and niece and her fiance were out for an evening together. For some reason the men went on ahead and the three of us were chatting as we walked behind them. I don’t know where it came from but a remark was made along the lines of,

“Look at that, three men and not an arse between them”! I think our penchant for a nice peachy rump must run in the family, but all we have got between us is one,as flat as a pancake. one whose trousers are halfway down a non-existent arse,as there is nothing there to hold them up, and one who is  very tall and skinny  with legs up to his armpits and no bum in the middle! (Luckily they do all have other qualities that outweigh their lack of pert derrieres).

Mr Grump treated me to a bit of ‘Dad dancing’ instead seeing as his ‘twerking’ wasn’t cutting it with me. Realising  I was still unimpressed, he gave up totally, got the ironing board out and started cracking on with a weeks worth of ironing, whilst listening to the music!  Now THAT is an attractive quality in a partner!