Wacky Word Wednesday #18

Welcome to Wednesday, where I get to play with another weird, wonderful or wacky word. Today, I have a wonderful word to share with you. In fact, I was going to use this word in my last post, but then decided that it was worth saving, and being in the spotlight, having a post all to itself! I always love a rhyme so that makes this word even more fun for me.

Argy-bargy. This word is anything from a bit of banter to a bicker and finally an out and out brawl! It is a squabble or a scrap, a tangle and a tussle, or even a fracas leading to fisticuffs!

Some to-ing and fro-ing of words between rivals, a difference of opinion, pushing and shoving, or even a right royal punch-up! This is a family party when we all get together and wind each other up, especially if we start playing games!

Episode 234: The Secret of The Shy Sun!

Well just as I thought! I didn’t get to see the solar eclipse! After the excitement of getting a day off work and the prospect of being able to experience an extremely rare event, nothing went to plan….

Mr Grump was taking my Mum to do her weekly shopping this morning (we take it in turns with my 2 sisters), and being as he is, wanted to get started early so arranged to pick her up at 8.30 this morning. I was originally working so wasn’t factored into the arrangement and I contemplated taking my time this morning, chilling out for a bit, then going outside to check out this amazing partial eclipsed we have been promised!

The news was full of it this morning, their cameras, all ready, and down in the south-west, the sun was shining over the sea, creating a beautiful image, and promising a clear view of the eclipse. Likewise even in Scotland (who always get the grottiest weather), there was a bit of blue sky, and a good view of the sun (they were going to get 98% coverage of the sun up there). I was getting hyped up myself, even though there were no film crews or cameras in this neck of the woods that they had mentioned.

Anyway, Mr Grump wanted me to go shopping with him and Mum. I said no, as he was going as the eclipse was due to start. It was supposed to be at its peak at 9.30 and knowing Mum, we would still be inside the supermarket at that time and miss the lot!

I needn’t have worried. The weather forecast for here was damp, damp and more bloody damp! I went shopping. It was freezing out, grey and damp. I looked out of the windows many times whilst in the supermarket to see  if it was getting dark or anything. It wasn’t. It stayed exactly the same.In fact, there was no indication at all that anything unusual had happened, Sod the bloody weather!

I’m glad we didn’t get those stupid eclipse suitable glasses in the end as well. I might as well make use of my day off and go and do some housework! A damn sight more exciting than a secret eclipse!

Episode 230: Silly Sarcastic Sayings…..

I do love a bit of sarcasm, I really think it is highly underrated actually. I know it is ‘not big and it’s not clever’ (well actually sometimes it can be very clever, depends on the delivery) but I still use it nonetheless. I also appreciate it when others use it, as I love a cutting remark (in a jokey way).

For example, at work when going to bleed a patient, on asking one of the nurses whether they had good veins or not being told,

“A blind person wearing boxing gloves could get blood out of those veins!”

Another favourite of mine is one of Mr Grump’s sayings to Miss Hap at dinner time as he enquired

“Do you want chips with that ketchup?”

What about when you turn up somewhere soaking wet after being caught in the rain, and one person always pipes up,

“Oh is it raining out?” To which you reply

“No, I just love the bedraggled look!”

When in a group and you say something privately to someone, who then blurts it out loudly.

“Can you speak up a bit, I don’t think they heard you next door!”

When someone you know is wearing an outfit of clashing colours, or looks really scruffy and they get asked,

“Did you get dressed in the dark?”

As all of my family uses sarcasm regularly Miss Hap has picked up the habit and when she came home tonight in her PE kit, I said to her,

“Why on earth did you come home in your PE kit?”

To which she disdainfully replied,

“Because I had PE!”

Great! Ask a silly question…….

Episode 99: Grumpy Old Git!!!

Today has been a bit hectic

My emotions all over the show

One minute I’m laughing and joking

The next I am feeling so low

But there is one thing that is constant

My husband, good old Mr Grump

No mood swings, forever changing

Just ALWAYS down in the dumps!

He likes a bit of complaining

He mutters and curses away

This bitterness started appearing

Just after his 50th Birthday!

He starts off every morning

Getting out of the wrong side of bed

That sets him off in a bad mood

For the rest of the day ahead!

But deep down he is a big softy

And his bark is worse than his bite

He has his wonderful moments

Which often do come to light

He gets teased by me every second

I laughed when he cut his bald head

As he shaved it to make it look smoother

Then put tissue on when it bled!

So together we make a good couple

And with Miss Hap, that makes us a three

We bumble along in our own way

– Dysfunctional harmony!

Cut Head

Episode 64: A Little Bit of Dirt Never Killed Anybody….

I received a phone call from Miss Hap today during her lunch break at school to let me know that there is a Craft Fair on Friday at school and “you have got to make some gingerbread men biscuits”.  Oh great! Well I have to give her credit for telling me a little in advance, normally it is at bedtime the night before she has to take something home-made into school. (I know some supermarkets do a lovely range of ‘home-made’ cakes etc but it does seem a bit naughty to do that; However needs must, and I have done it in the past)!

Anyway, as it is my day off today, and not only have I got the ingredients (and more importantly the recipe) for the gingers, but I actually enjoy making them (along with mince pies, that is about my festive repartee). I have already made the dough, and whilst that is ‘chilling’ in the fridge, I get a bit of time to myself to reflect on how different I am from my mum in the kitchen, I was thinking about Mum and what a fantastic cook she is, although nowadays she doesn’t bake so much. However, in her baking heyday some of her practices in the kitchen left a little to be desired…..

Two funny stories come to mind. the first one was when mum was making her famous ‘rock cakes’. Now, they were not ALWAYS as hard as rock as the name implies, and she put currants or something in them as well, so they were quite tasty for a Sunday afternoon tea. This particular day she made the cakes with her usual method, chucking a bit of this in, sprinkling in a pinch of that, then a dollop of something else for good measure. Once cooked they looked lovely and golden brown and she turned them out onto the wire rack to cool for a bit.

My younger sister and I were there when she decided to have a little ‘taster’ and she bit off a huge chunk from a cake.

“Mmmm these are lovely” (Self-recommendation is no praise, but Mum was proud of her cooking). As I looked up at Mum I was horrified; there were loads of ants crawling around her mouth, my sister had noticed as well. We were screeching and pointing but Mum had realised something was not right, and she rushed over to the sink to spit out the cake, and brush away the ants that she had not ingested!  It transpired that Mum’s wire rack was kept in the little alcove under the kitchen sink, and she had not washed it (how the hell she didn’t notice the ants all over it is anybody’s guess)! Well needless to say we went cakeless, and had something else!

The other occasion, was a dinner Mum was cooking for the family. She had made a gorgeous stew, and was preparing the dumplings to go with it, which she cooked in the pot with the stew. She went to one of the cupboards and got out her little box where she kept, her margarine, butter and lard. Anyway, she made the dumplings, but as I watched her , I said that they didn’t look right (Mrs Expert Chef poking her nose in)! Needless to say she took no notice of me, and half an hour later we all sat down for our lovely dinner. I took one mouthful of dumpling, and the rank taste hit me; the dumpling was expelled straight away.as I retched and heaved. Some of the others followed suit but the slow starters sat there stunned; dinner was ruined. That fat she used had been sitting opened in the packet for God knows how long, and was well and truly off! Mum told us to eat the stew anyway just leave the dumplings, but everyone’s appetite had suddenly disappeared!

I remember those two occasions so well, as my Mum never understood why we all made such a fuss about everything being clean, or that food was not past it’s ‘sell-by date’! Myself, plus some of my brothers and sisters used to go through the fridge and cupboards and sure enough there were tins there from  5 years previously (“tins last forever”), bottles where the date had rubbed off, or perhaps even before they dated foods, unwrapped food in the fridge, cooked and raw meat stored in close proximity, and condiments from the ark! Anything that was in the fridge was edible according to mum regardless of how long it had been in there!

I suppose growing up when food was rationed, they were not so picky about what they ate, being grateful to have anything. Also I have seen her trying  to sneak an errant spud in the roasting tin that had fallen on the floor when she strained them in the pan. Again, anything that went on the floor got either rinsed or brushed off and put on the plate! After all, “A little bit of dirt never killed anyone” and me, and my siblings have the cast iron stomachs to prove it!